The Early November

Some of my updates on life, thoughts about the election, and all the neverending connections I keep making that exhaust, exhilarate, and motivate me: 

      So, I haven't blogged since 9/11, not because of a shortage of topics to blog about, but more because I was ill-equipped to deal with my life, and was thrust into multiple situations and confrontations and leadership scenarios that I had hardly anticipated. Within the months of September and October, I reframed and redefined my priorities in life as well as for this year, and my current involvement reflects those shifts. 

Here's a quick list of the things I have done in September & October: 

• recruited 8 new dancers for USC Drishti
• practiced every week until near the end of October for different performances 
• performed at APASA Nightmarket
• done henna design work for 7 people
• worked faithfully for a social venture that I am really excited to be a part of
• networked with every guest lecturer in my NASA/Mars Exploration class
• given a guest-lecture as part of a South Asian American High School Youth Leadership Seminar
• volunteered at the South Asian Network 22nd Gala
• phonebanked for Prop 30 in California 
• voted in the presidential election (in Massachusetts via absentee ballot) 
• canvassed in Artesia for Project DesiVote! 
• helped run API Undocumented Scholarship Fundraiser: Power and Love 
• supported my friends in their endeavors
• had fun with my DC Crew in Los Angeles on multiple occasions 
• made multiple new friends in many new friend circles; gotten ten times closer with some people I am blessed to have in my life
• gotten multiple professional and personal critiques that I am taking in stride; life is about improvement and moving forward, not looking back. 
• was an ironic hipster for Halloween
• volunteered at Weemes Elementary for seven consecutive weeks to read with Jasmin 
• went to multiple graduate school, fellowship, and job information sessions
• talked to multiple advisors and mentors and people I look up to regarding my career path: consensus? I'm gonna be okay.

      So yeah, it's been a busy few months, and that's not even ALL of it. Just the things I can remember!

All throughout these months though, I just keep on feeling blessed. I feel like I am pushing myself to my limits mentally and physically, but at the end of the day, I matter to my community. I feel like that feeling is new in some ways: I am not so sure I would have felt that integral last year. And in some ways, I still feel insignificant, and like the whole world would be better off without me. But I am learning to accept that I cannot matter to everyone, and that the people who matter to me should be the only ones I truly care about--but I also need to still make that push for community, and being a voice for the voiceless. It's a tough balance. 

      October was really hard on me: academically, personally, professionally. In some ways, I feel like November hit the reset button for me. In the wise words of All Time Low, maybe it's not my weekend, but this is definitely going to be my year. I feel like hitting everything with a big heavy slab of positivity is something I need to be mindful of. 

      Through meeting politically radical and leftist people, instead of the typical "screw the world" attitude, I instead have this Hero Complex. I have this need to fix things that cannot be quenched. Oh this system is in trouble? I'LL FIX IT. Oh, the nation is in shambles? I have your policy plan right here! I know I have this uncontainable energy, but I  desperately need something to funnel it into, whether that be science education reform or special education reform or just overall education policy shifts. I need to focus in on SOMETHING or else, I am very much in danger of not achieving much of anything. 

      But then, when I start to narrow my scope in life, I have this moment where I realize that I am twenty-years-old. Anyone I have met or admired was still in school at the age of 20. Or doing stupid things at the age of 20. Or still growing up, or figuring out their wants, needs, priorities at the age of 20. I have an edge on them in that I am done with my academic requirements, as such, but just because I will have graduated does not mean that I will be magically transformed into a self-realized 22-year-old. I am twenty, like it or not-- and I need to grow up on my own terms. 

      So I am finally becoming open-minded about this whole job thing. I realize that the skills I need come from multiple disciplines, and I could very well work in any sector, if I wished. I love media: realizing that now, I feel so dismayed I didn't just go for broadcast journalism whilst I had the chance. I love the idea of teaching, and every week I fall more in love with children and especially young kids with bright futures. I feel like the world is at my fingertips, so much possibility, that the pressure of that crushes me. Thank god for my family, friends, and mentors. These people keep me grounded. Let me know that I will not be without aid throughout this, and also make sure that I do not grind myself too hard throughout this stressful ordeal. 

          And so, while the elections turned out somewhat positively, with all sorts of women taking up power, and the first Hindu-American WOMAN in office anywhere, I offer this video: Barack Obama thanking his organizers. Such a full circle moment for him, and such a moving thing for me to watch. I can identify with 25-year-old idealistic Barack, and I think that being able to not only talk with but also feel connected to one's leader is so important in good governance. I am proud that he is my president regardless of some of his policies because I know that his path there was hard won. Having read "Dreams From My Father" last December, I know his history, and he had been just as lost, if not more lost than me at twenty-years-old. Hearing those narratives humbles me. Obama's right in this video: we are better, but we are better because we can follow his lead. We can follow the lead of other young entrepreneurs, other young movers and shakers. This world is all about solidarity, if you know where to look. 

And with that, I bid you adieu! Til the morrow. 

xoxo, 

Maithreyi 

NaNoWriMo: 1600 ish? 

late night dominos: iii :(