One of my best friends, Naureen, came to visit Boston from Miami over Valentine’s weekend. Every time I host someone, I realize the reasons why I moved back east, why these cold and dreary places still feel cozy enough for me to commit my life to. Also, I realize why I need to keep on keepin’ on even though life is an uphill climb in negative degree cold with the wind slamming in your face all day long.
A great galentine’s weekend is comprised of:
- long late-night catchup sessions coupled with the restful sleep that only comes after giggling and feeling fully understood
- aimless drives where the conversation totally causes you to lose track of where your destination is, reminding you life is the journey--in the doing, not the endpoint.
- NOMTASTIC indian dinner & a movie (“How to Be Single”)
- impromptu Sunday brunch with new & serendipitous friends
- LA Burdick hot cocoa, smooth, rich, and satisfying right before heading to the airport
I haven’t had a girl’s weekend or a sleepover in ages, I felt like I was exercising muscles that hadn’t been moved in the longest of times, but the muscles were in my soul. Bantering, serving as a sounding board, being a wingwoman, and tourguiding are some of my favorite activities in my life, but I very rarely get the opportunity to do them.
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| NAUREEEN <3 aka my galentine! |
My sleep schedule and my writerly, slightly manic tendencies make me a prime candidate for living alone, but I miss comfortable companionship of collegiate life. I miss heading to the library after dinner with my friend Alisha just to sit in carrels next to each other in silence as we both studied different subjects. I miss endless lazy Saturday brunches with my best friend Alexandra at Jacks & Joe, downloading the week and getting prepped for the next one. I miss my roomie of two years, Daksha for our funny chats over tea, so busy that those were the rare moments we would get a chance to hang out.
It is funny that being back in Boston, I don't have those go-to people. My go-to's are my hometown brownies, and they all have their own crews and are increasingly less go-to-able. I get that I have to make my own tribe, but I think this realization is so late in the game. It has been three years of me hanging on by the threads of my USC, CTY, and SAALT network. It is time to make a Boston crew that is mine & mine alone, but that also requires having stability of job and life. Also, my friendships have always been one-offs-- the only team-style friendship I have maintained has been my high school brown friends and even that is because we met in field hockey. When I see my friends with their work crews and school crews, I am so envious because that is never been my style. I want it, I crave it, but I love depth in my relationships. In Startup Institute, there was a fledging feeling that I would finally have that, but I didn't get a chance to see it through.
The one feeling I keep coming back to is this whiny, "When will it be my turn?" All I want is a shot, so desperately. A chance to prove myself in a job. A chance to prove myself back at school. A chance to prove myself as a good friend. I tend to prioritize people that make me just an option. The amount of times my so-called friends have cancelled on me causes my out of town friends and closer confidantes to chime in that they "aren't worth my time," and I should simply "make new friends". Making new friends takes MORE time, though!
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| our nutella and grahamcracker lattes on Saturday morning <3 |
Anyway, the funny thing about Naureen and my friendship is that without SAALT's Youth Leadership Institute, we never would have met. But if you add up the physical time we have spent together, it is less than a week! Even so, the little time we spend and the amount we keep in touch make me feel like she's always in my corner. That is true friendship. Between her, Marvin, and Amit, I am so happy I had decided to even apply to SAALT's YLI because I almost didn't. The timing was right amidst finals, and I remember that fledging hesitation I had, and that moment I told myself "Why not? You can deal with finals if you make it." I am trying to have that approach to more things in life now: just DO IT, and deal with the consequences later.
Especially with my new media project: "Coffee, <Chai>, & Convo with YOU16". I feel like the perfect is always the enemy of the good in these cases, but because I am doing it at the Burlington Cable Access Television station, I have no option to keep tweaking and must just get the content up and running as soon as it is ready. This makes me be less harsh on myself out of sheer time crunch and necessity. Good enough is indeed good enough!
Here's to a more intentional & "shake off the trivial weakness of your heart, O Arjuna" vibe laden March :)
XOXO,
Maithreyi
P.S. : I should really do a movie count of this year's movies watched down here...
Movies Watched: VI
Spotlight
Finest Hours
Revenant
Hail Caesar
Zoolander 2
Deadpool
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